6th anniversary

6 years.

Time has come one full circle.
You passed away on this day too. A Sunday.
I remember very clearly, as if my memory of that day froze in time.
I remember I was playing for worship,
and I only found out the next day.

I remember denying it for days,
I remember convincing myself you'd wake up.
I remember 3 years later, I was still wishing you'd wake up.

It's ironic that this year, of all years,
the day of my country's Golden Jubilee year should be this year.

Why this year?
Why not any other year?

6 years.
Carried along by the tide of time, I have reached the same point where I was 6 years back.
With the same conflicting emotions I feel every year on this day.

Would you get angry if I don't mourn for you today?
Would you call me selfish if I decided to commemorate my nation's Golden Jubilee instead?

This year I can't even feel the grief I carried in my heart the past 5 years without you.
I guess somehow I'm slowly letting you go.
I guess somehow I'm slowly forgetting you.

But there's one thing I'll never forget.
I'll never this day.
I'll never forget 9 August 2009, when you left us so suddenly.
And as long as I still remember, I'll always dedicate this day to writing to you.

I wish I could say, "I still can't forgive you for that, leaving like that without warning."
But what's done cannot be undone, there's nothing to forgive when we can't turn back the time.

Rest in peace.

With love.