Everything is still a blur to me.
I have no idea what happened last night,
everything is vague.
My performance,
my emceeing,
I remember talking about Matt, but I can't remember what.
Lol.
Pet, you really need to upload the videos soon.
I can't wait to see myself on stage performing.
I just don't wanna hear my horrible pitching which was shot to death right after "Psyche" lol.
The President of the college, Alistair, was apparently very impressed by my performance, he actually came up and talked to me and gave me pointers to take note of.
I remember him emphasizing a lot on my honesty and risk-taking, ha ha.
Honesty?
Perhaps... it's easiest for me to be honest when I'm standing there on stage.
Even if people want to hide and pretend,
for me it's the only place (minus writing in blogs) I can be myself,
and be true to myself,
my feelings,
my thoughts.
And I think he only congratulated the previous people on a wonderful performance.
Hmmm...
Waiting for the videos now...
I might even upload them on Youtube, depending on how awesome the performance is, ha ha!
2011-05-05
2011-05-02
1 May
Happy 22nd birthday to my most beloved best friend Matthew =)
I'm glad you enjoyed yesterday,
despite the simplicity of it all.
Goal achieved,
and I hope you managed to catch up with the others who came,
even though I was monopolizing you the whole afternoon lol.
It was really memorable,
for me too.
Thes best thing I got out of it was your smile.
That was the thing that made me knew we succeeded straight away.
Thank you so much for your SMS.
My eyes welled up, and almost cried in school during rehearsal at night cos I was so touched.
I always thought this was one-sided, ha ha.
After all you always liked to disturb me lol.
You said it was your number one entertainment lol.
To a certain degree,
I still miss that ya know? Lol
But I'm glad really.
I'm really happy that I (probably) mean as much to you as you mean to me.
It's been almost 8 years of friendship,
cos we met sometime in December 2003, remember?
And all this time,
we watched each other grow up.
And all these years,
you grew more and more important to me.
I love you best friend.
And Happy Birthday once again.
Saw my birthday message to you?
It's the sweetest thing ever right?
HA HA!!
My hand nearly cramped drawing so many ♥s lol.
Only I will do something like that lol.
I won't ever forget yesterday either.
With many hugs and kisses and ♥s,
Carolyn
Now with one overwhelming emotion out,
I can talk about other things, lol.
How can one be so overwhelmed with so many conflicting emotions at the same time?
I don't know...
Everything's gone confusing.
Stressful.
And everyone's showing their true colors.
It's scary.
And sad.
Because no matter what,
you should not,and I repeat,
should NOT,
sacrifice your friend just for your own benefit.
I understand we all want to do well,
put up a great show,
but last minute saying you can't make it to rehearsals,
especially when you know your friend has not had a single rehearsal,
is not acceptable, no matter what the reason.
Commitment is not just a word.
It's a promise.
And action.
That is why I never like to make promises.
Because promises become cheap if we can't live up to it.
I will only promise when I know and decide that I want to give it my all,
do my best,
and show my commitment.
Because I find,
the saddest thing that can ever happen is when you make a promise,
but in the end, break it.
And it's even more disappointing,
how people are so unsympathetic,
so unfeeling to others' stress,
and they just demand things their own way.
Like c'mon,
not like I want to stay till 1am in school everyday.
And it's not like they wanted to fail their theory papers.
The least I can do, with the amount of humanity I have in me,
is to help others right?
Whatever time they can make it,
I have to comply, no?
Cos everyone of us have different schedules,
we just have to see how to fit in our free time.
And it's not like, I want to rehearse so late at night.
You people don't give a damn about our exams,
and you just call to create a din,
accuse people
or demand us out of the practice room right now.
There should be some compromise really.
Who wants to forgo their sleep?
Family-wise, I'm past being angry and disappointed.
Because it's not worth any of my emotions anymore.
It's always been like that,
even my classmates don't understand how I can tolerate this.
I don't either.
But perhaps it's because of incidents like this that happen all the time,
my character is like that. Lol.
Never say die, and probably can't die from this either.
I'm glad you enjoyed yesterday,
despite the simplicity of it all.
Goal achieved,
and I hope you managed to catch up with the others who came,
even though I was monopolizing you the whole afternoon lol.
It was really memorable,
for me too.
Thes best thing I got out of it was your smile.
That was the thing that made me knew we succeeded straight away.
Thank you so much for your SMS.
My eyes welled up, and almost cried in school during rehearsal at night cos I was so touched.
"Hey monster allowyn!! Haha thanks for organizing this year's birthday celebration for me :) if its one thing u've taught me through these years it is this phrase 'if there's a will, there's a way'!!"
I always thought this was one-sided, ha ha.
After all you always liked to disturb me lol.
You said it was your number one entertainment lol.
To a certain degree,
I still miss that ya know? Lol
But I'm glad really.
I'm really happy that I (probably) mean as much to you as you mean to me.
It's been almost 8 years of friendship,
cos we met sometime in December 2003, remember?
And all this time,
we watched each other grow up.
And all these years,
you grew more and more important to me.
I love you best friend.
And Happy Birthday once again.
Saw my birthday message to you?
It's the sweetest thing ever right?
HA HA!!
My hand nearly cramped drawing so many ♥s lol.
Only I will do something like that lol.
I won't ever forget yesterday either.
With many hugs and kisses and ♥s,
Carolyn
Now with one overwhelming emotion out,
I can talk about other things, lol.
How can one be so overwhelmed with so many conflicting emotions at the same time?
I don't know...
Everything's gone confusing.
Stressful.
And everyone's showing their true colors.
It's scary.
And sad.
Because no matter what,
you should not,and I repeat,
should NOT,
sacrifice your friend just for your own benefit.
I understand we all want to do well,
put up a great show,
but last minute saying you can't make it to rehearsals,
especially when you know your friend has not had a single rehearsal,
is not acceptable, no matter what the reason.
Commitment is not just a word.
It's a promise.
And action.
That is why I never like to make promises.
Because promises become cheap if we can't live up to it.
I will only promise when I know and decide that I want to give it my all,
do my best,
and show my commitment.
Because I find,
the saddest thing that can ever happen is when you make a promise,
but in the end, break it.
And it's even more disappointing,
how people are so unsympathetic,
so unfeeling to others' stress,
and they just demand things their own way.
Like c'mon,
not like I want to stay till 1am in school everyday.
And it's not like they wanted to fail their theory papers.
The least I can do, with the amount of humanity I have in me,
is to help others right?
Whatever time they can make it,
I have to comply, no?
Cos everyone of us have different schedules,
we just have to see how to fit in our free time.
And it's not like, I want to rehearse so late at night.
You people don't give a damn about our exams,
and you just call to create a din,
accuse people
or demand us out of the practice room right now.
There should be some compromise really.
Who wants to forgo their sleep?
Family-wise, I'm past being angry and disappointed.
Because it's not worth any of my emotions anymore.
It's always been like that,
even my classmates don't understand how I can tolerate this.
I don't either.
But perhaps it's because of incidents like this that happen all the time,
my character is like that. Lol.
Never say die, and probably can't die from this either.
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