It's just amusing..

On Now (Ameba's version of twitter), I follow someone who has already passed on.

What is even more interesting is that the function only came out beginning of December, but he left us in August.
And looking at his number of followers, I can't help but wonder...

What are we expecting?
What are we hoping for?

I mean, we all know there is no way he will tweet there.
So why do we follow him?

It's really quite amusing, yet at the same time,
there's a tinge of sadness in it.

I think, maybe the answer to that,
is that we are unwilling to forget him.
We are unwilling to believe the sad truth.

I should change "we" to "I", shouldn't I?
Lol... Cos I'm speaking for myself.

Even if I can walk on my own now,
Even if I've learned to let him go,
I don't want to forget him.

It's like, if I follow him, it'll seem like he's still here.
It's like I'm building another world, another world where he still lives.

But then, ironically,
I realized I've slowly come to terms that he's not here anymore.

Thinking back of not too long ago, when it was so painful to see 4 people in a band instead of 5,
It seems that now I've come to accept it.

And it scares me.

Cos it feels like I'll forget him one day.
He'll become nothing but faded memories of long ago.

Yet, it's the right thing to do, isn't it?
To accept and to move on...

VII-Sense

おめでとう。

やった２００７年の夢できたね。

VII-Sense頑張ってね。

大好きな親友、VII-Senseのヴォーカル、頑張って。

Congrats.

Your dream since 2007 is finally fulfilled.

All the best to VII-Sense.

All the best to you, best friend, and VII-Sense's vocalist.

Serenade

The night where I cannot sleep goes on...
I want to see you.
The interrupted time is depressing,
My song is long.

There were no suspicions, far away
On the road we walked.
Hey... we had a promise, right?

No matter how high the wall, we crossed over it
Why are you not here anymore? I want to see you...

Like this, to my heart,
Everything is problematic,
So how far should I go?
I can't walk anymore...

Because I met you in a dream, that dream will
Cruelly disappear again
Yes, just like a falling star...

That brilliant light has stopped.
And in the east, the night sky cries
My heart began to seethe,
And the door opens...

If I can meet you again someday,
Will I be able to see?

No matter how high the wall, we crossed it and came here
Thank you, you can sleep now, because I can walk on my own

The dream in which I saw you returns to my heart
Surely, someday, the night sky will lead to the dawn
My shaking heart will return to my warm chest
It's okay like this - I can walk, and the far-reaching sounds pierce the darkness.

I wonder.. will I be able to sing these words one day?
Because I've don't think I've crossed that high wall yet,
Because I don't think I can say "I can walk on my own now".
Because even now, I think I'm holding you back.
Unable to let you go.

But I'll learn to let you go.
To let you sleep.
To walk on my own.

Even if tears flow together with the memories of you,
I'll smile because the memories of you are beautiful.
Because you are beautiful, and you make the memories beautiful.
Even though the time we had together was short, but it was beautiful.
And I'll hold on to the beauty of these memories.

Let me always remember the beautiful memories of you.

From 5 to 4

Continuing with their lives, and the promise made by the 5 of them...

Now, the first album ever since their major debut is completed, and the photoshoots and costumes are done.

Except, now I see 4 people in the band instead of 5.

I wish I can be a spoilt brat and say no, that this isn't the way.
If the band wishes to take a photo, he has to be there as well.

But this isn't the way is it?

But it feels so different, there's one missing.
Just like how there's one name missing when I pray.
Only right now, seeing it visually, reality kicks in real hard.

It doesn't feel right without you.
Why is it till now you still aren't allowed to come back?
Why is it till now I'm not allowed to take your place?

From 5 to 4...
It feels so wrong.
Won't you just come back to make things right again?

*bitter laugh*
Why am I saying such selfish things again?
Didn't I always tell myself that you'd be happier up there?

I'm sorry...
I'll learn with to live without you.