X'mas yet again.
A festive season that signals the end of the year.
A time of thanksgiving,
a time of giving,
a time of celebration,
a time of shopping,
...
...
...
A time of reflection.
This year has been busy. Crazy busy.
I barely had time to think and reflect.
I made new friends,
I gave up friends.
Looking back,
it feels like I gave up many things this year.
Friends,
Relationships,
Music.
Just to pursue something, I gave up almost everything.
No man is an island,
yet I spent the bulk of this year in solitude.
Being alone, refusing to talk to people,
to interact with them.
It also brought to light just how single-minded I can be,
to simply discard things without a second thought in pursuit of what I want.
Is it time to reconcile?
I'm not sure.
It'd be good, but I'm so used to this feeling of estrangement it feels weird to go back.
Like, what's the point of sitting down and catching up?
It's pointless talk, and also,
it's not like I can actually explain what went on in the past few months I disappeared.
Even if I did, who would understand?
Wouldn't the time be better spent on doing something productive?
Like studying.
And job-hunting.
There's nothing there anymore anyway.
Everybody else moves on.
To go back and look at the remains of what was would be pointless.
I created this wall, so there's no one else I can blame.